pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
