Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
