Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
