you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
