Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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