i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
