who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
