Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
