I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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