I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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