He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
