u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The Olympian is in my bed
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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