FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
