the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
