She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
