dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
