CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize