I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
