Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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