This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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