Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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