youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize