I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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