Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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