As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
