Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
