im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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