someone threw a dead crab at me
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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