he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
