So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
