don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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