and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
