brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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