We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
