It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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