Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize