Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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