god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize