Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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