New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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