Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize