I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
