This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
