Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
