You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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