LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
false alarm, still single
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