Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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