Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
worst night to have a conscience
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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