We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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