What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
