he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
