I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
