it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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