Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
