uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
