Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
