I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
