When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
