I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
