I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
