dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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