I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
