They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
