She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize