my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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