mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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